This has probably been the biggest comment I have received recently and I personally continue to be confused by it. I kind of chuckle but honestly it kind of drives me a little nuts. Being a stay at home mom and an entrepreneur, to which is only two of my many hats, can be very tiring to say the least. Since we moved I do not have the family around that I feel I could leave my kids with for a quick break. I remember times when my dad would just message me saying he was outside of my house to pick up my daughter. He would randomly make time to hang out with her. But even in those times I would still need to accomplish things around the house so I wouldn’t be able to take a true quality break. It would just be a break from being a mom but there was another hat to wear.
Recently its the same thing but now if my husband takes the kids it typically means I am working on my own business or I am sick and in bed. I hear it all the time that I am so lucky that my husband takes the kids so I can have a break. It’s almost as if people speak the words without even thinking why it may have happened.
The two times that stick in my head the most is when I had my husband help me with my kids while I ran for work. Ive started to notice my son becomes sick when he comes with me and I am pretty sure he is over stimulated by the locations I go to. Now that sounds a little ridiculous but I am pretty sure I know what’s going on with him. Any who back to the topic. I went to pick up my kids from my husband and we met with a “Did you enjoy your free time?” The next time was right after I took the much needed time to get away. I was completely burnt out, had been saying so for a while and finally was able to take a moment to myself. My husband even booked an RV location so that I could truly get away and do whatever I wanted. This was the first time in so long that I actually was able to do whatever I wanted. So of course I sat down and I watched show that were not kid shows, I stayed up crazy late one night to crochet and slept in the next day. I did everything I wanted to just treat myself and to refill my tank. Yet when I got home I was met again with “You’re so lucky to get a break”.....
That’s when it hit me that people truly just don’t understand. No one truly understands what one person has going on. It is crazy to think that we just see what they are doing and think we fully know what they have to deal with. Moms aren’t just moms, dads aren’t just dads, and the list goes on. We speak so freely before actually understanding and truly not even getting the smallest idea of what load is on someone’s plate. Instead of saying “You’re so lucky to get a break” why not try asking questions and being interested in what the person is saying. Speak with kindness is what is needed right now.
To the parents that get the time off and continue to hear these comments, I know it is not easy to let them slide off your back. It is in fact very easy to let this hit you in the core. Please take the time to not let those comments completely undo everything that you just worked on when you were refilling your tank. Your kiddos need that tank refilled so you can put your best foot forward. The self care and the breaks for moms or dads are not just for themselves. They are also for the better of their family. The little gifts or the breaks or whatever helps you refill is what needs to be done randomly so you can continue to help yourself. The guilt may set in that you’re not with your kids but look at it in the way its to help them. When comments come in that you’re getting a break, try your hardest to let them roll because you just did what you needed to improve yourself. Just remember parents already have enough coming at them with how they parent or with their view points, we don’t need more comments added in because we are trying our best. Parents keep doing your best and remember to fill your tank too.