We got a little raw this week on the homestead YouTube channel. I am not the person that likes being in front of the camera. If you haven’t noticed I like this behind the scenes kinda thing so much more. I can write out blog after blog with such a passion but when it comes to putting my face out there for others….. yeah that’s a big no for me. But I have noticed one thing this year and that’s been that I have pushed my limits a lot and continue to do so. Its something I am so proud of but still it is a struggle continuously.
This week I took the time to get in front of the camera and now it is available on Youtube if you would like to watch. To sum it up I took the time to speak about my struggle with chronic illness. It has lately been very much so a daily struggle. I am still struggling daily with all of the issues that pop and I never truly know how the day is going to go but the first hour or so have been a massive indicator of what will come of the day. Thankfully it has been more so fatigue than it has been actual being sick. But lots of mornings I have been waking up and feeling a tad bit of nausea and then back to being normal and ready to move on with the day.
So I wanted to take a moment to break it down again for y’all and just say that we are still in the struggle bus trying to get myself to feel better. But also update from the last update. I have still been dealing with fatigue but this is more manageable. I have the desire to work at times but I am still working on getting the full desire to work back. This means I go in spurts of trying to bust my butt and get things done around the house but my body continues to say its time to lay down and relax. I will say the upside is now we can have fires rolling in the fireplace. I mean isn’t that a huge bonus?!?!? But I have also been dealing with eating. My appetite is so small its not even funny. I can go the entire day with out wanting food. I will make myself eat something and then dinner I will eat a bigger size meal. Typically I eat a snack before I go to sleep to help me hold over until the morning but even that has not been happening. I truly have not been able to do too much with eating and energy. To which yes eating does help with the energy level but that sadly doesn’t mean it will boost the energy levels when it comes to chronic illness.
One of the take aways from this all that we continue to realize is that I need to rest when my body says so. Its been such a struggle. I can’t stand not being able to do things that I usually do and that are typical tasks that need to be done. For example, Jeremy has been making dinner for almost a whole year. I sadly don’t have the energy most days and he has picked up on that task. Also the laundry and different cleaning tasks seem to pile up but he is there to help each time.
I truly can not say it enough that I am blessed with such a wonderful husband that walks me through all of these health struggles. He has truly taken it upon himself to be there for me every time I need him to be. Even in ways I do not know that I need and he still shows up.
All this to be said, we sadly have been dealing with more chronic illness struggles and its become a day to day kinda fight. Its been a rough patch but we are hoping that soon it will break and that my body can get back to my normal self.