Oh how this has got to be the hardest thing to talk about. Let me set this straight out the gate so you have no questions at all. I do not do well with resting. Sitting down and relaxing does not come easy to me. It sounds oh so glorious but it does not actually happen well at all. It takes a lot to do such an act.
Let me start with the fact that Jeremy and I are truly busy body people. We thrive off of doing what we need to do to keep the homestead running. That could be building items for animals, cleaning out the coops, cleaning the house, canning, homeschool, work, and all the little random tasks. I personally truly thrive off making long to do lists and seeing what I can accomplish for the day. But the flip side of that is that I am extremely tired by the end of the day. Let alone doing this day after day and not taking proper rest really can actually set me up for failure with my health.
In past blogs I have explained a little about what my health struggles are but I am going to explain again. I have what is called Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome. This is a syndrome that essentially makes me vomit continuously without stopping. In my case, because every case is so different, if I time taking my meds just right then I can actually stop an episode at home. This used to not be the case at all. But also I am triggered by different foods, heat, emotions, lack of sleep and pain. I can not have ice cream, milk, alcohol, and prefer low gluten. I plan to blog about our changes to eating in the future so make sure to tune back in for that! If I am outside on a hot day then I need to be drinking electrolyte based drinks that will help as I sweat and need to take breaks to help cool my system down. A struggle with that is sometimes I can not regulate my body temperature too well so I end up getting overheated and need to cool myself down. Emotions are probably my biggest trigger of them all. I cant get too excited or I will end up in an episode. If I have any more of anxiety, panic, and concern then those are my easiest triggers to turn my stomach. The other beast to this is that cyclical vomiting syndrome is actually a migraine in your stomach. I can at times actually feel my intestines moving and causing so much pain. That pain can cause an episode to ensue too. So all of these triggers and then running nonstop truly doesn’t set someone up for a healthy life.
Our whole goal in this resting idea is that we want to work on taking care of our bodies. When we went to the HOA this weekend Justin Rhodes spoke on this topic and I truly was taking everything in. But the main part he said (he was speaking on Chronic illness and homesteading) was self care becomes your job. Your number one priority is to focus on self care so you can do the things you want. If I don’t take the time to take care of myself then I will start an episode and I will not be able to function at all. So instead of going balls to the wall and getting everything done at once, I need to work on setting up self care for myself and trying to work at a better pace.
Resting is going to be my biggest struggle for myself and I fully know it. But that is going to be my new goal. If I do not take the time to rest then I will guarantee myself to start an episode. We have been running around like crazy lately and my body is finally showing that it needs a break. In September we took a week to visit PA then on our way home we stopped in VA for about another week. We got home and had maybe 2 weeks at home before we left for the HOA conference. For lots of people that’s probably fine and normal to be traveling so much. But for someone that triggers off emotions, I truly did not do well with all the travel. I was not getting proper rest, the lead up to leaving was always a struggle to get everything set, and then while on our trips we were not lazy by any means. It finally hit me right before we left for HOA that I was not doing good at all with my health. I could actually feel my health taking a turn and that is not good at all. I didn’t add that if I can not get this sickness under control when an episode starts that I will end up in the hospital. So to physically feel my body was struggling before we left I was concerned for the weekend. I was so proud to say that I didn’t actually start and episode at all but it was truly cutting it close. I expressed my concerns with Jeremy and he quickly got a campsite booked for me and sat me there for 3 days.
The time at the campsite I was able to do what I wanted whenever I wanted. Yes I know I am a mom but this is where the self care and rest come into play. I was not feeling like my moms skills were where they needed to be. I was short with my kids and they truly were just saying some of the most hurtful things. Pair that together and you can see the downside of everything. The time to just be on my own gave me the rest I needed for my kids and for our lives. I’m walking away feeling rejuvenated and ready to put my hats back on. This surely will not be how I rest all the time by no means. Honestly it costs too much. Haha. But my goal is to set up two times a week (current goal and is subject to change) where I can have time completely alone to myself. My other struggle will be to say no to work. I typically think “well if I just work on this then I can have one less task for tomorrow” but end up using all of my me time instead of taking care of myself. That’s officially stopping. Also I think I plan to say if its not done by 8 pm then its going to have to wait. My time to relax and rest will need me to work on setting boundaries with everything else I have going on. It’s so easy to keep working when all of my jobs are at home. But this is no longer going to happen.
I walked away from this weekend with a realization that if I do not take back control on my rest then I will truly run myself into the ground. I saw that with how the last month has gone and I truly can not express just how lucky I am that I didn’t get sick. My health needs to be taken serious and that means rest needs to be taken serious. I can surely feel I rambled on this blog but I truly hope someone reads this and thinks that they need to add the rest into their day too!